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and sign the wire with love.
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| life is just ten yards away. |
[30 Jul 2004|02:55pm] |
and so i can't decide if i want to stay or leave tonight
because a dream has come that i've waited for my entire life
so leave the window open
'cause tonight i think i'm coming home
and so baby, i'll be missing everything i leave behind
but just maybe i'll be finding what it means to feel alive
pictures i have seen
and the places in between
i'll see you in my dreams.
» audio karate . hello st. louis
countdown: 36 days
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| everything is so outdated here. |
[29 Jul 2004|10:44am] |
stepping over, two steps closer
i sit around wasting time
feel like the poster for a self-help line
will we know the truth when we're older?
for the first time in my whole life
i'm not afraid of feeling alive
for the last time i'm falling behind
and nothing out there will change my mind
let's start over
crimson clover
while those golden nights
get colder
if i could, i'd press rewind
turn on record and leave the past behind
will we know the truth when we're older?
for the first time in my whole life
i'm not afraid of feeling alive
for the last time i'm falling behind
and nothing out there will change my mind
when you find me, will you remind me?
we're one step closer, two steps closer.
» hawk nelson . first time
countdown: 37 days
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| i believe in love; but what else can i do? i'm so in love with you. |
[20 Jul 2004|01:09am] |
so good on paper...
on friday, i finished at my uncle's. no more cabbage packing for me. it's a relief. but now i have to find some way to occupy my long, summer days. i think spending more time at home will make me more grateful when it comes time to move out. at least i'll have time to read all the books i want to read but won't have room to bring along.
everything i know tells me she's everything that i could hope for.
everything i know tells me i can't let her walk away.
and i thought that it might have been her...
countdown: 46 days
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| know nothing stays the same. |
[12 Jul 2004|10:29pm] |
things i am looking forward to:
a) seeing a different part of canada
b) meeting a ton of new people
c) getting a student id
d) being somewhat independent
e) going to my first university lecture
f) eating my first university cafeteria meal
g) knowing that i can do what i want, when i want
h) doing my own laundry
i) not having to work 65 hours a week
j) decorating my dormroom
k) making a true first impression
things i am not looking forward to:
a) not being with anyone i know
b) not having a reliable means of transportation
c) doing my own laundry
d) eating cafeteria food every day
e) 16 hours of lectures every week
f) not having any money
g) homework
countdown: 54 days
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| it is not safe to assume that i am like me. |
[07 Jul 2004|09:15pm] |
yeah, so it's been two months since i really updated at all. so here goes.
i leave for british columbia in 59 days, or 8 and a half weeks. and it's weird, because i'm not as excited about it as i was a couple months ago. i think that partly has to do with how much work is going into being able to afford school out there. but it's also the fact that although it'll be a break from work, i'll still probably be too busy to really enjoy it to its fullest potential. first of all, i need to get good marks to keep my $2500 scholarship, not to mention get my money's worth, and secondly, i'll need to work somewhere while i'm there, otherwise i can write off second year right now.
i really hope i get a good roommate. i don't know if i'll do well with someone who's really outgoing or social. because that's just not who i am, and people like that usually make me uncomfortable. although, if my roommate is anything like me, we'll have the quietest room on campus.
i also really hope i get more excited about it again once it gets closer. i don't want to go out there and not be looking forward to it. because then, i know, it'll be as big of a disappointment as i could expect it to be. i'm weird like that; if i'm looking forward to something, i usually enjoy it, but if i think it's going to suck, it usually does. i think that's a result of my unwillingness to be proven wrong.
i hate despair. the thought that maybe i won't be able to finish school (for lack of funds) knaws at me constantly. i really want to go to school and get a degree, even though i don't know what i should do yet. i guess i just need to have more faith there, but it's so hard. actually, i need more faith in a lot of areas.
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[30 Jun 2004|11:08pm] |
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just another day in paradise.
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[22 Jun 2004|11:47pm] |
raise your hand if you made $240.00 today.
( yeah, that's me. )
and they say you can't do anything without education.
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[21 Jun 2004|11:27pm] |
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break me and make me whole.
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[17 Jun 2004|11:58pm] |
at graduation, mr vriend said i was 'intense yet easy-going.'
one year later, i am neither.
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[11 Jun 2004|11:45pm] |
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another day, another dollar...
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[03 Jun 2004|10:23pm] |
three months.
!!!
...yes, i'm excited.
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[02 Jun 2004|04:23pm] |
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i just want one chance to prove that this could be the greatest romance in history.
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[31 May 2004|10:11pm] |
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i'd blow this whole world to pieces to not be alone.
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[29 May 2004|12:53pm] |
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take me out of me.
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[23 May 2004|09:12pm] |
tonight, it feels so right ('cause this is all we know)
and i will say goodbye ('cause this is all we know).
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[21 May 2004|12:21am] |
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and there you come, with a smile that'd send any man to his knees.
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[20 May 2004|11:00pm] |
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there are so many things i have to say, and i'll stay up all night to hear about your day.
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[19 May 2004|12:34am] |
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forget what those jerks say; i dug you in the worst way.
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[17 May 2004|08:56pm] |
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i wish that i was as invisible as you make me feel.
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